so death.... a big part of life? ... really... why does death affect us so much? death of someone else that is.... and not just the death of ppl we actually know but death of characters we know... fictional characters that is.... characters that over time we've come to love and care for as we would our own actual friends and relatives.... and then to see these characters suffer on the tv screen weeks after weeks and see their friends dealing with the pain of having a loved one suffer like that and you find yourself becoming wrapped up in those emotions that the friends must be feeling and you find yourself in some kind of inner turmoil over the pain of this fictional friend and then that fateful episode comes along when your on-screen friend can no longer fight and death hits.... and you go to sleep with a heavy heart (that's provided tht you sleep at all) just like all the character's friends on the show... and you feel a deep sadness as though you've really lost someone real in your life..... and then you have to wait in pain for an entire week till the funeral comes around... and you feel evern sadder and more helpless cuz you can't be there to comfort your other on-screen friends in this time of loss.... TV..... it's a really powerful thing i tell you

Wo Lamhe, wo baatein, Koi na jaane, Thi kaisi raatein, Hooo, barsaatein, Wo bheegi bheegi yaadein, Wo bheegi bheegi yaadein... Na main jaanoun, Na tu jaane, (aaah) Kaisa hai ye mausam, Koi na jaane, Kahi se hai fizaa aayi, Ghamon ki dhoop sang laayi, Khafaa hogaye hum, Judaa hogaye hum, Wo Lamhe, wo baatein, Koi na jaane, Thi kaisi raatein, Hooo, barsaatein, Wo bheegi bheegi yaadein, Wo bheegi bheegi yaadein... (hoooo...) Saagar ki, Gehraayi se, Gehra hai, Apna pyaar, Sehraoun ki, In hawaon me, Kaise aayeee-gi bahaar, Kahan se ye hawa aayi, Ghataayen kaali kyoun chhaayi, Khafaa hogaye hum, Judaa hogaye hum, Wo Lamhe, wo baatein, Koi na jaane, Thi kaisi raatein, Hooo, barsaatein, Wo bheegi bheegi yaadein, Wo bheegi bheegi yaadein...

so i eh update mih heroid listing since friday so here goes... hmm.... heroid for friday: i cyah remember what happen friday nah... ooh! i remember... heroid is .... RAVI SOOKHOO!! yup... when we were stranded in strokers in chaguanas on friday evening... he came to the rescue and dropped us home so yeh!!! saturday.... heroid is.... hmm..... neetu! for getting me the republic bank carnival t-shirt! lol... sunday.... ARUNA! for making my shiv ratri quite memorable.... om namah shivaya! monday... hmmm...... my cousin videsh for all that great indian music! lol tuesday.... NADINE!!! that pizza stunt in the tray of ryan van will have me smiling for some time to come... lol.... yep.... there it was... lol.... heheh.... point of advice... doh ever walk thru chaguanas on ash wednesday.... apparently, from carnival sunday-tuesday, chaguanas does become a public urinal so by wednesday is only stale piss yuh does be smelling in the air.... putrid i tell you, putrid!

so i decide to rename my hero title to heroid... that way it's my special term for it... lol... so i didn't have access to a computer yesterday so i din put down my Heroid for the day before so i'll do just that now... and the winner.. or winners are..... (drumroll) Aruna & shortpants! (Applause!!) yup, in my time of absolute lowness ( i did sick and vomitting nah) they came and found me and took care of me till my ride came to take me home so yay! half heroid to suraiyya too for being concerned and trying to find me... lol.... i dunno who i go term my Hemorrhoid for that day nah.... and well for yesterday my heroid go have to be..... RYAN!!! for gettin off he ass and being we transportation for half a day! big up ryan! and today's hero is.... Nirmal's friend.... NICK! lol.. this boy is ten kinds of crazy.... lol... but truly fun to be with.. really.... he could make any frump laugh....lol.... i still on a high from all the shit he was talking... lol... well that's all.... i eh ha nothing more to write... oh today we went Jenny's for nirmal's b'day so check the album for photos.... that's all ... laters!

so... much thanks to those who commented on my last blog... atleast i know someone is reading! lol... so i used to always think i'm fun company and that ppl enjoyed being in my company... but yesterday a friend of mine told me something to the effect of "who would like to spend time with you?" whoa! that hit a bit hard.. especially since i always thought this person enjoyed my company... granted i've been a bit of an asshole over the past 2 weeks etc... but before i revealed my asshole-ness.... was my company really sour?? so why did u spend so much time with me?? were u just waiting for someone a bit more worth your time to come along and now that they're here there's no need to waste time with me??? hmm... anyways... enough of that.. i'm going to start something a bit new today.. well it's something i used to have running previously but i stopped it for some reason or the other.... so i'm resurrecting the HERO FOR THE DAY title... at the end of everyday i'll decide who in that day made such an impact on my life for that day to be labelled as my hero for the day... so my hero for yesterday was.... VIDESH MOHAN!!! (APPLAUSE!) yup... for quite a while now i've wanted "if you could only see" by Tonic and i told him i wanted it on sunday night and bright and early monday morning it was in my inbox! so big up to you Videsh! you really made my day yesterday! lol... thank you so much! well that's all... stay tuned for today's hero... tomorrow! lol..